*Editors note: I wanted to share this article I wrote for the Bridal Guide Blog, in which I share my best tricks for successfully navigating the bumpy road of negotiations. Learning to haggle is a valuable skill, which can cross over from wedding planning to many other aspects of daily life, so I hope you’ll find this advice useful for many years to come!
I’m not gonna lie…negotiating used to intimidate me to no end. I’d stutter, lose my words, blush and periodically melt into a puddle of self-deprecating goo. I’d look at my future fiancé and sheepishly say, “You talk.” It took baby steps and several years of practice, but starting small, I began to conquer the fear and, eventually, came to enjoy the art. I’m now proud to say I take the helm in almost all of our negotiations–wedding or otherwise.
In my research, I’ve noticed that many bridal resources encourage negotiation, but few offer solid suggestions on how to best approach the game. I want you brides to feel empowered to fight for what you want, so today I want to share some of my best tricks for handling the mighty task of haggling.
Many brides are intimidated by the thought of negotiating, but a bride in charge of “wearing the pants” (if you’ll pardon the antiquated phrase) has one of three possible effects: 1. It commands respect 2. It serves as a disarming distraction, or 3. It doesn’t faze the vendor at all. None of those reactions put you at risk, so why not give it a go? Now, let’s be straight. I’m not talking about pushy bridezilla pants. I’m talking about respectful, savvy negotiator pants. Trust me ladies, they’re much more flattering on you.
The key principle I operate upon in many life situations, is one my parents taught me growing up: It never hurts to ask. The worst they could say is no, right? But they could surprise you with a yes…and wouldn’t you rather be sure, than miss an opportunity due to shyness? This is the hallmark of my approach to negotiation.
If above is the entree to a negotiation, it is crucial to have a good side dish: Be nice. It will make or break your deal. People like to help nice people. They may not reciprocate. They might even act like you’ll be lucky if they deign to accept your booking, but don’t be distracted by their style. Always keep cool, positive and strong.
But, I say, go beyond being nice. Treat them more as a potential friend than a business deal. Get to know them a bit and relate to them on a human level. Having them on your side will make them more inclined to have a vested interest in your business. This isn’t about manipulation, its about being open. After all, wouldn’t you rather have a friend at your wedding than just another vendor? I’ve come to learn some really cool things about the people I’m working with–and I love feeling a sense of camaraderie with my vendors.
At the same time, don’t be afraid to speak on their level. Show them that you know your stuff. While there’s no guarantee they’ll respect your knowledge, at least they’ll know better than to try pulling the wool over your eyes, which will save you both time and effort. Great expectations yield great results, so be confident and it will inspire confidence in you.
The best way to get comfortable with speaking on their level is to know your product or service inside and out. Research which companies to target and evaluate which are most likely to be a good negotiation candidate for your situation. Key things to consider:
What’s your wedding date? Are they in high demand during that season/on that day of the week? Or are you in off season/on an off day? Are you flexible on the date?
Are they a promising new company, talented small business or an industry star? Do they need to build a portfolio, or can they afford to be picky?
What reviews can you find about the customer service and employees? What’s your experience with them (ie: response time, friendliness)?
What similar companies are out there, and what are their prices? Try to seek out any specials or discount offers you can find, from all competing vendors in your area.
Know everything possible about what you want and what it’s worth, and then determine your bottom line. Know both your “dream price” and your absolute maximum, be armed with specifics. Some of my best negotiations have been a result of citing competitive company statistics. Let them know that they’re your first choice but ask if they’ll beat competitors’ pricing.
If you can’t find lower pricing to haggle against, simply make an offer. Even if a company advertises a specific price, they may respond to fair and respectfully made offers. This is especially common among smaller and newer companies with a need to build a portfolio or word-of-mouth. But, remember to be fair. Be aware of the value of their time and goods. A good approach is: “This is what I need for my event, and this is my budget for this item. I’d love to work with your company because of (insert flattering but honest reason here), and I hope we can work something out.”
Now, come here…. Come closer! I’m about to share my best “big guns” secret, but this is just between us, okay? Barter. Whenever possible, offer something in exchange for a discount. Play to your strengths. What can you do well for them? Anything from cleaning their office/studio to offering a trade of service like marketing or graphic design might work, depending on the company. Try and identify any needs they have, and politely offer some “free” assistance in exchange for a discount or full trade. I used this method to finance my dream wedding dress, by doing invoicing and fabric cutting for the designer in my spare time. I’m living proof–it can happen!
So, start small…but be brave. After all, the worst they can say is no, right? Trust me ladies, if you approach with preparation, openness and confidence on your side–you can be one bad-ass negotiator–and experience the empowerment of getting what you want at a price you can afford.