You’re doing what?

I have to admit I’ve been scouring wedding blogs since well before I got engaged. In my defense, I’d been considering wedding photography since about 2.5 years ago, so in some ways it made sense that I was in on the latest in nuptial events.

[By the way, spell check your programs and whatnot, I went to a wedding this weekend where nuptial was spelled nuptual, which looks right but isn’t. The little red squiggly underline in my brain went off when I saw it.]

Amelia Lyon ring shot

This mild obsession means that I have a ton of ideas of things I want to incorporate in my wedding, but also that I feel like I’m bored with the standard wedding. I’m also thinking of my wedding in terms of photographs, because that’s how I think for the most part. Amelia knows that I think in terms of albums and post-processing (photoshop) more often than not during a shoot and that’s how my wedding planning has become. I want the macro shot of our rings with some really random detail I haven’t picked yet.

photo from the knot: notice how our checklist has 1 to-do completed…

When we first got engaged I freaked out over the amount of time I had to plan. I fell victim to the knot checklist I had viewed before getting engaged, and of course the bridal shop urging of “you need to order your dress immediately because it takes 16 weeks to come in.” I feel like if I had 16 weeks I could learn to sew and make my own dress. Of course, I didn’t.

After picking our date, finding out that Garrett’s church was already booked, picking a second and hearing the same bad news, but that we could share the day with the other couple if we’d be out by noon [which was worth it to me at that time, even with all the restrictions], changing our date again… I got over my bridezilla-ness which really only manifested itself in the timespan when we had no venues. I stopped stressing about the timeline and details because I wanted to be married to Garrett, and I know that it just takes a bride, groom, witnesses, and someone to make it legal.

After stressing about the budget (10,000 + anything we save up to make up the difference, the variable being alcohol), having an unknown number of guests (I wanted to cap it at 150 but we hadn’t added in parents’ friends yet), the idea of a rehearsal dinner with all of the wedding guests since our families (minus his parents) and friends are all out of state… I posed the thought of us just going to the courthouse. Garrett’s eyes lit up. He’s not much for being in front of crowds. But he wants me to have my dream wedding. I realized that what I really want are awesome pictures of us in our wedding attire and to share the getting ready and partying with my best friends and family.

Mimmo and Naz via Snippet and Ink.this couple had a private ceremony with their photographers as witnesses and showed their family the video as a surprise. Definitely an inspiration to me in my decision to make the “I do’s” a private moment.

So now we’re planning on going to the courthouse on Friday morning, having a blessing at the church’s chapel that afternoon (limited to close family due to the size of the chapel and the intimate feel we want for that moment), and a party/reception Saturday night. The more I read blogs the more I realize that there is nothing wrong with it or even that strange. I want the moment we become husband and wife to be about us, not being nervous at the front of a crowd repeating cliche vows. I love the idea of having time to relax Friday night and Saturday morning before I put my dress back on to have a party with lots of dancing. We’ll still have our first dance and cake and bridesmaid dresses and bouquets. All the details I want in a manner that suits us.

I totally recommend 2000 dollar wedding if you are stressing out over your planning and need a reality check or just someone to let you know it’s okay to do your own thing (you can see Sara’s wedding recap on EAD [intlink id=”113″ type=”category”]here[/intlink]). 

What I’ve learned from this process is that it is about what you want. If people press you about why you are doing something a certain way or excluding a certain tradition, ask them why it bothers them. “That’s just the way it’s done” is not a good answer, and most people just haven’t challenged that idea. I think of weddings in my own way, and yes that includes a white dress and cake, but I love when people do something different. You can challenge the price tag on weddings (If I could I’d have a big potluck backyard event with an etsy made dress), or you can have a huge stylish and gorgeous bash, just do what is right for you!