Choosing a Bridal Party – Help!

I need some advice…

Thank you for reminding me that I have yet to select my attendants. Sigh. As I look through all the idyllic shots of bridal parties in their matching-mismatched gowns, I imagine that all the ladies in the photo have been best friends since they were 5. That there was never a doubt in any of their minds from the time they made a pact to be best friends forever, they knew they’d be there at each others’ 21st birthday parties, weddings, and then again at their kids’ first day of school, and to this day still have cosmos every Thursday night together.

{ photo by Todd Pellowe }

Ok, so maybe not. I realize that rarely is this the case, but still, doesn’t it seem like that sometimes?

Well, I don’t have any friends like that. I don’t really keep in touch with the friends I had when I was a kid anymore (except for one who now lives in Spain), and I wasn’t really close with anyone in college. The close friends that I do have were mostly made during my summers in college when I performed with a drum corps (yes, I’m a band nerd). Unfortunately, this group is made up of people from all around the world so of course no one lives near each other. There goes our cosmo night every Thursday.

{ photo by SugarLove Weddings via Polka Dot Bride }

There’s the family member option, but I only have one cousin who will be 7 (who will most likely be our flower girl) and I have a half-sister who I am definitely asking to be a bridesmaid, but she lives halfway across the country too.

So, I had convinced myself that it was ok to have bridesmaids that were not local because as long as there here standing beside me on my wedding day right? Yes, they most likely won’t be able to make the shower but…is that ok? But still, who the heck do I ask to be my maid of honor? This post on Junebug Weddings freaked me out:

  • Your maid of honor will help you pick out your wedding dress and the look for the whole bridal party. She’ll help coordinate fittings, and help ensure everyone in the wedding party arrives at your wedding with all the items they should have with them.
  • She will throw you a bridal shower and bachelorette party, buy her bridesmaid’s dress and give you a wedding gift. A Maid of Honor’s expenses can really add up, so keep her resources in mind and be aware if you are expecting her to reach outside her financial comfort zone. Consider contributing funds yourself if the items or events that are important to you come with a big price tag.
  • She will tactfully let people know where you’re registered for bridal shower and wedding gifts.
  • She’ll be the go-to gal for all kinds of information when you’re not available- where the rehearsal dinner is, what time to arrive at the ceremony, where to get parking validated, and who’s responsible for which delegated duties. Be sure you let her know any important information that you think people may be asking her.
  • On the big day she’ll help you get dressed and ready, walk down the aisle in front of you, straighten your veil after you arrive at the altar, hold your flowers and his ring during the ceremony, sign your marriage license, bustle your dress before your reception, and run interference- acting as backup hostess when appropriate so you can stay calm and relaxed throughout your day.

{ from Junebug Weddings }

That certainly sounds like the MOH should be local, right? Well, I live in Pennsylvania and my bridesmaid options live in: South Dakota, Spain, Philly (but won’t be around the days leading up to the wedding…and might not even be able to make the wedding), and Florida. Sigh.

{ photo via Snippet & Ink }

THEN, I have another friend who lives in the area, is super-organized, fun, as type-a as I am, is great friends with Mr. too, and is probably the friend I talk to the most. Sounds like the perfect candidate, right? Only…he’s a guy and he’s starting Law school this fall. Can I have a guy as my maid of honor? No really, truly imagine having a guy (granted, he’s not the manliest of men…if you catch my drift) as your MOH…bustling your dress, holding your bouquet…is that weird? Ugh. I just don’t know what to do. Even then, will he be too busy with law school?

What did you do? Did you have a similar situation? Please help :(