image from mondera.com

I’m not sure how to feel about the whole men wearing wedding rings deal. My dad has always worn his and my mom always wore her matching one, both plain yellow gold bands. I was actually pretty surprised to find out that women (now at least) tend to match their wedding band to their engagement rings, and that the husband’s ring doesn’t always match. I was probably just not that observant.

I think my thoughts on marriage have been greatly influenced by the people I grew up around and media. Thus, men wear rings if they are married, women look for the wedding ring when they are out hunting for men (this is where movies come in, and every conversation I ever had with another female about some adult male that is considered attractive), and men who don’t want to wear a ring or who take their rings off are up to no good. I’m sure lots of men have gotten in trouble for wanting to look single for whatever reason, or forgetting to put their ring back on after some physical activity, or just not wanting to wear one.

This brings me to a personal question: why do I want to wear a ring? I’m really not sure. I know part of it is because they are so pretty (my e-ring is a permanent fixture on my hand at this point), because I like jewelry, and because it signifies to other people that I am getting married. Which might be because I like for people to ooh and ahh and ask questions, and because it’s like an entry to the engaged club. I’m not saying I’m proud of the reasons, but they are there amongst the more noble ones. I never even thought about not having a ring. Partly because I do want people to know I’m taken. Women wear fake rings to ward off men they don’t want to approach them, and it’s kind of a polite signal when you are actually married (hey, don’t bother, I’m married).

Does that mean that men think of it the same way? I don’t think so. Some might, but for men who feel no need to wear a ring to be faithful to their women, or those who don’t like jewelry, or those who just want you to trust them…. it’s probably really frustrating to have someone urge them to wear one. Garrett’s not crazy about the idea of a ring. His dad hasn’t always worn one, and I don’t know the reason for it because I didn’t ask, but I’m aware now that not every married man does, and it doesn’t mean they want to seem unmarried. Garrett has never worn jewelry and doesn’t like anything artificial in or on his body anyway. He has contacts and a permanent retainer and both annoy him. He would never get a tattoo or piercing. So putting a ring on his finger is at the very least annoying.

image from wedding ring 101

He humored me at least a little and picked out a ring this weekend. It’s a plain white gold band (and it will kind of match my ring in the sense that mine’s white gold but mine is decorated with diamonds to match my e-ring). It has a comfort band, whatever that means. And it’s exactly the same as his uncle’s (they even got it at the same family-friend-owned jewelry store). I don’t know if he’ll want to wear it but I couldn’t fathom the idea of there not being a ring exchange at the ceremony. I kind of feel like I’m silly to want him to wear one so bad.

Does anyone else have a fiancé who isn’t fond of bling? And should I even care?